“You tried to kill me!”
“Don’t insult me. If I’d tried to kill you, you’d be dead.”
The pessimistic man adopts a pet turtle.
A character is the first alien to be a drug dealer.
“How did you know it was me?”
“Your left foot has a slightly halting rhythm … Nah, I peeked.”
“I don’t think you take me seriously or respect me as a person.”
“You’re right. I don’t.”
Block B - Ukwon (Halloween)
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Cr: Boo
rad dad
Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: ‘It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it.’ And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it mean to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?
| — | “59. it’s beautiful, but I don’t like it” from 100 essays I don’t have time to write: on umbrellas and sword fights, parades and dogs, fire alarms, children, and theater, Sarah Ruhl. (via sonnywortzik) |
me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,
the signs as fake quotes my weird cousin has attributed to famous authors
aries: as oscar Wilde once famously said, ‘fuck men’
taurus: i believe it was percy shelley who wrote ‘why cry over spilled milk when instead u could cry over everything’
gemini: you can lead a horse to water, but u can’t make the horse drink that fucking water if it wants vodka instead. sun tzu said that.
cancer: y’know, steinbeck once screamed ‘death to capitalism’ while setting himself on fire, and i couldn’t agree more.
leo: i was trying to think of a hemingway quote, but thankfully i just remembered that i don’t give a shit about hemingway
virgo: Flintstone vitamins are for losers. William shakespeare.
libra: did you know that that nicki minaj took the lyrics “i beez in the trap” straight from jane austen’s iconic 1813 novel pride and Prejudice?
scorpio: maya angelou actually invented the acronym NSFW, did u know that? ‘Not Safe From Whites’. they’re coming
sagittarius: the most inspirational thing walt whitman ever said was ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ that man was a poet
capricorn: ‘be there or be…gay! lol jk don’t be gay’ ~ the bible, chapter 5 verse 17
aquarius: honey, as Faulkner said once, ‘eat shit mark twain’. words to live by
pisces: nietzsche once said that dante was a ‘hyena that wrote poetry on tombs’ and i’m not making that shit up because nothing is funnier than that
You’re a psychopath"
“i prefer creative
| — | (via hidethesorrow) |
